Recently I have had two loved ones whom have been diagnosed with cancer. For now we play the typical wait and see game until we can get more results, more information. This started me thinking. Cancer is a disease that eats you from the inside. It often takes away and destroys the most vital parts of our bodies. I realize though that there is a cancer of the soul. An often un-diagnosed condition that affects those we dearly love, and even ourselves. This affliction eats away at our happiness, our love, and our self worth. It happens every time we say yes when we truly want to say no, when we give up on our dreams (even the small ones) because we don’t think they are realistic, when we don’t take time to open our hearts up to those around us. I know that I have and am still suffering from this disease. I am glad, however, that I know the treatment. To live, to truly live. To begin to chase after those things which stir my soul, to not be afraid to look foolish, to really open myself up to others, and to let loose the love inside my heart. My prayer is that I can continue to walk this path, and to maintain the strength and resolve to not falter or give up. My prayer is that others might see and that they might break free as well. We don’t have to live inside the shadow anymore.
It has been too long.
Too long since I took the time to really listen
Too long since I paid attention
Since I listened to my own heart
Allowed my soul to speak
Since I allowed myself to feel
Allowed myself to live
Now I sit here with my thoughts
And try to let go
I try to move through the fog
And find my way
As I look into his eyes
I can see the darkness that lies within
The deep abyss of hate and anger
The pit of sorrow and malice
He awaits his chance to emerge
He seeks his moment to inflict himself upon the world
As I look into the eyes of the other
I can see the calm that draws on closer
The peace and love that brings comfort
The heart that seeks to heal
The hands that long to bring healing
As I look into my eyes
I can see the eyes of both men
They look back at me
Waiting for my choice
Waiting for my action
Who will I be today?
The healer or the destroyer?
I will tell you what is right or wrong
I only want to fix you
Standing up here pointing out your flaws
All I want to do is help you
For you to see things my way
But you can’t see past
The wagging of my finger
My ever judging eyes
Standing on my soapbox
Trying to change your life
- I thought I would attempt the blogging thing. My purpose will be to challenge myself with my writing. I have often found that I have a passion for writing, but do not create enough space for it in my life. So, here I will post my writing in whatever form I find it, both past and future writings, as well as just random thoughts that pop into my head. So welcome to my brain and I hope you can appreciate what I put forth here and maybe we will find ourselves on common ground. I may also interject my love of music, technology, etc. however my main focus is on my writing.